Here's what to watch for at the London Olympics Today

1. OPENING CEREMONY: A celebration of British culture, with a touch of Shakespeare, pop music, James Bond — and even some farm animals. A huge worldwide audience will tune in for the extravaganza, which starts at 4 p.m. ET.

2. WHO WILL LIGHT THE TORCH? Bookmakers are now convinced it will be Sir Roger Bannister, the first man to break the four-minute mile. But is there another mystery contender?

3. WEATHER: Will the famous English rain blight the opening ceremony? It's been hot and sunny all week in the British capital — but a little wet this morning.

4. REFEREE DIES: A Turkish boxing referee has been found dead in his London hotel room. It appears he suffered a heart attack. Autopsy results expected later Friday.

5. ROMNEY FALLOUT: What will Londoners make of Mitt Romney's implication that the city isn't ready for the games? Will it draw them together?

Fencer Mariel Zagunis chosen to carry U.S. flag at Opening Ceremony

By Maggie Hendricks

Two-time Olympic gold medal-winning fencer Mariel Zagunis will get the honor of carrying in the United States flag during Friday's Olympic Opening Ceremony. 

She was chosen by her Team USA teammates. 

Previous flag bearers have included runner Lopez Lomong, wrestler Bruce Baumgartner and decathlete Rafer Johnson.

"I'm extremely humbled by this incredible privilege," said Zagunis in a statement. "As an athlete, I can't imagine a higher honor than to lead Team USA into the Olympic Games, which are the pinnacle of sport and a platform for world peace. I am tremendously proud to represent my sport, our team and, most importantly, the United States of America."

Ed and Carolyn .... a true love story

Ed and Carolyn met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. 

When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Carolyn to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Carolyn was indeed his soul mate and true love.Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Carolyn to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Carolyn took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

NY Cab - Naked Lady

An inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

The old Jewish driver answered, "Let me tell you sumsing, lady. I vasn't staring at you like you tink; dat vould not be proper vair I come from."

The drunken woman giggled and responded, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs, sweetie, what are you doing then?"

He paused a moment, then told her. "Vell, M'am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself, 'Vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?

Television Enjoyment Secrets

I am getting a great deal of enjoyment out of all of these political ads on television. Not only Obama and Romney, but all of the other "privately" sponsored ads as well. I almost look forward to them appearing on our TV. How is that possible, you ask?

I keep the controller, in hand, mute button at the ready, and the more proficient I get at hitting that button, the less audio I get. I have my button hitting time down to a mini-second.

Oh, the peace and quiet during those commercials, only an occasional hum of our air conditioner unit, or perhaps a car passing by our apartment.

I'm beginning to find out to, that many of the new "reality" shows on TV are much better with the sound off. Especially  some of the one-hour shows. Sixty minutes of quiet, so refreshing. No talking, no music, no drama, no yelling, no arguing, and that's just what was on the TV.

My biggest problem now, after watching all these political ads, Obama talking about Romney, in a negative way, and vice versa, is it better to hit the MUTE button, or just turn the whole set off? Actually, with the quality of the new shows, all the commercials on and between shows, political ads, might just be best to get rid of the TV. No, I guess I better wait till after football season, yea, the Olympics too. Just gotta keep that MUTE button handy. Whoops, commercial, CLICK.